Over the past couple of months, many states and cities have outlined their plans for reopening businesses during the coronavirus pandemic. Throughout that process, the funny folks on Twitter have shared how they really feel about these seemingly premature moves.
The coronavirus crisis is far from over, and public health experts have warned against fully returning to business as usual, at least at this point, particularly in areas that are experiencing surges in COVID-19 cases. If your community is reopening, it’s best to follow local expert guidance, practice social distancing and wear a mask while out in public.
Below, we’ve rounded up 22 too-real tweets that sum up the chaos, confusion and disagreement surrounding the various stages of reopening across the United States.
ME: wish i could eat in a restaurant again
RESTAURANTS: good news, we’re reopening! come on in!
ME: lol fuck that
— Miles Klee (@MilesKlee) June 11, 2020
The only thing I’m reopening is this bottle of Tito’s Vodka.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) June 11, 2020
TICKET TAKER: I told you it was too soon to reopen the movie theatre, we’ve only got one customer
MANAGER: but look how happy he is
CUSTOMER: pic.twitter.com/f0BjW50s3v— Mary Gillis (@living_marble) May 2, 2020
Six Flags is reopening and they’re gonna use an online reservation system to avoid ppl standing in line. Forget Covid…THEY’VE BEEN HIDING THIS LINE TECHNOLOGY FROM US!?!
— Emily Volman (@emilyvolman) May 26, 2020
Me: I can’t wait til I can go back to the gym.
News: Gyms are now reopening.
Me: I don’t feel like going to the gym.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 16, 2020
me sitting my black ass in my house for at least 6-8 additional months after they open the country again, bored as fuck but alive as shit pic.twitter.com/T9pm6qcPXp
— tracy clayton aka CHUBBA BEEF (@brokeymcpoverty) May 19, 2020
Glad Marshalls is reopening, summer wouldn’t have been the same without some slightly irregular fashions and obscure snacks.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 19, 2020
Go ahead and reopen the country but just know that I have mastered the black pajama “work pant” and I’m not going back.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) May 19, 2020
Cheesecake Factory to start reopening restaurants but they will only have a limited 413-page menu.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 3, 2020
we are reopening next month. to make up for what we lost during the pandemic, tickets will be $2,500
— Disneyland (@Disneyland2go) June 15, 2020
Do the people begging for stuff to reopen not realize that means having to wear a bra on a regular basis?
*shudders*
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) May 17, 2020
So Disney World is going to reopen, asking their guests to wear mandatory face masks, and they’re leaving it to their staff to enforce it. In Florida. pic.twitter.com/uoLvhfXBKv
— Justice for #BreonnaTaylor (@TrulyTafakari) May 27, 2020
Maybe they could reopen Vegas if they had a hospital-themed casino and the dealers were doctors and the slot machines were ventilators and it was actually just a hospital.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) May 27, 2020
Bars reopening but you have to wear a mask? Ugly people, this is OUR time!
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 18, 2020
Who else trying to get back in shape before the gyms reopen
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) May 30, 2020
I got an email from my dentist’s office saying that they’re reopening but hygienists will no longer be allowed to talk during cleanings. COVID-19 is good now.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) May 23, 2020
All I know about your phase 2 reopening is that I won’t be there.
— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) May 29, 2020
I say reopen the lesbian bars first. They haven’t been out in 2 years.
— Luwanda (@LuwandaJenkins) May 22, 2020
you know how when a roller coaster shuts down bc somebody got hurt on it and then they reopen it and you like.. im not getting on that until it makes sense to me again? same energy.
— tracy clayton aka CHUBBA BEEF (@brokeymcpoverty) May 19, 2020
A HuffPost Guide To Coronavirus
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This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated.
